Part 2843856 of the Messages I’ll Never Send
I know you’ll never read this. I know I’ll never have the nerve to send this. But a part of me will always love what he had. A part of me will always wonder what could’ve happened. A part of me will always hurt in some fucking way over you. It’s stupid. I wish the feeling would go away. I wish you and I werent so close. I wished I never met you sometimes because then maybe I would be happy but I’m fucking not. I never am. I’m trying so fucking hard and itll never be. Theres nothing that could be done. Theres nothing that can be fixed. I’ll always care for you- always no matter what. I’m never going to stop being there for you. I’m never going to intentionally ruin anything good for you. That’s not what I’m intending to do here. But I need to get it off my chest. Its eating away at me and it hurts so much sometimes. Brad brought it up. I forgot he knew. And I guess I kept trying to suppress it so fucking much that as soon as I saw him mention the “almost” that was you and i the wall in my mind broke that i kept our memories behind and it’s all there. I just wished you knew how i felt. I hope for the best with you and her- it’s all I could want. Is for you to be happy. I’m trying really hard to make something dead- work. And i guess that’s all i have now.
“I know I’ll never send this to you and you’ll never see this, but a part of me will always love what we had. & I just wish you knew.”— Excerpt from a love story that doesn’t exist #13 // a.a
